Perry the Most Beautiful Collie Friend in the World
by Megan Berry
Twinkle Toes at his best!
I write this in tears. Still, to this very day I cry deeply for your loss. You came into my life at a very needed time, about 6 years ago. You were mangled and abused. Someone truly lost out on what a truly wonderful companion you would be.
I decided to do my part of helping out by becoming a foster home for collies, through Houston Collie Rescue. The moment they brought you to my house and I was approved as a foster mother to you, I knew you'd never leave. You watched me raise two beautiful children during those days, you walked them, you herded them, you were patient, gentle and calm. You were the only dog they truly knew. When you came to me, they were not sure of your age...6-8 years. I wish I knew your birthday, I wish I was the person who got you as a pup, you were a truly amazing being. The people who mistreated you deserve nothing less.
While JC was serving in the military you would accompany me to therapy sessions for the massive anxiety attacks I would have. Being a basically single mom with a husband in the military is not easy, and you knew exactly when I was feeling sad, or mad or hurt. You would curl up next to me and I would lay my head on your chest and you would breathe calmly, chasing me from panic. Reminding me of inner peace.
I never thanked you for that. You were always there for me and I wasn't there for you. I feel so responsible for what happened. It wasn't your time to go. Even at 13 you would bounce around the yard chasing the kids, Perry Berry Twinkle -Toes they called you.
I can't forget the day - it's burned into my soul and it's hot and hurts like an iron to my flesh. I'm so sorry. So sorry, Perry. I wish I could have saved you from all of this. Saved myself from this grief.
Someone who works for my father's company left the front gate to the house open. We have a very large lot of land, and every morning Perry would ride to school with us and drop my daughter off, she is 6. Every afternoon he would pick her up.
That morning you did your normal routine and followed us to the car, Breya told you goodbye and I returned home, I pet you and you ran off to explore and play. I had closed the gate.
Sometime during the 3 hour span I had left him outside to play with the livestock and other dogs, this person left the gate open, then closed it. Perry had wandered out during this time. Someone, driving very fast down our old country road did not see Perry, I hope. And ran him over, killed my dog. Without stopping, without calling us, without even leaving a note.
My mother got a phone call, as I was calling for Perry outside, not seeing him anywhere. She ran outside. I kept asking what and she wouldn't answer. All I heard was, "Shit... Oh no... I'm coming."
She made it to the fence, down our very long drive and the man next door was the one who had called, standing outside with her, they looked down, spoke a few words as I watched. My head knew but my heart didn't want to believe it. You looked white from where I stood and I knew it wasn't you. The gate was closed!
Mom made it slowly up the driveway and didn't say a word, I looked at her. "Is it Perry?"
"I'm so sorry, Megan." I cried, I fell to my knees. I felt all emotion hit me like a ton of bricks straight to my gut. I didn't know what to do.
As I sat crying where I fell, Mom went and got you, put you into the truck and drove you back down the drive. She told me not to look but I had to say something. I asked her to leave.
I held you for what seemed like just a few seconds, but ended up being a good hour. I cried so hard. I had never hated anyone so much as I did that very moment! Who could have viciously done something so horrible to the most beautiful soul I knew.
Mom came back and I covered you in blankets. I was bloody and crying, and I called the vet. I couldn't just bury a dog like you, I needed options. I decided to cremate you and keep you forever with me. Not only are you safely above the fire and kept warm, you are kept in a heart necklace right above my own heart.
When I picked up Breya from school, I was still bloody and crying. I must have looked a mess. She knew something wasn't right and I saw it in her face when she asked what was wrong. It took me a minute, she looked to the back seat. "Where is Perry, Mommy?"
"Perry... is gone baby. He died." She immediately started crying and I know you would have run to her. I held her in my arms for a good ten minutes. She still cries to this day at the thought of you. You touched our lives immensely and I am forever in your debt.
Monday when I went back to the vet to try to take your pawprints. You were so cold and frozen and stiff in the morgue. I couldn't get anything good to come out on the paper, but enough to piece together. I kissed you goodbye. I'm glad I could only see your paw, as I'm sure I couldn't have taken much more.
Your pawprint will forever be engraved on me, and even though you are a Scottish dog, I chose a German quote to put next to your tattoo.
"Die Liebe ist stake wie der Tod, hart wie die Holle."
Der Tod Scheidet die Seele vom Leibe, die Liebe aber scheidet all Dinge von der Seele...
Meister Eckhart- Predigit: "Ewige Gerburt"
"Love is as strong as death, as hard as Hell"
Death separates the soul from the body, but love separates all things from the soul.
Meister Eckhart -German Mystic Sermon: "Eternal Birth"
The tattoo will be part of your flesh and bone as it will be done with a part of your ashes.
I feel like I failed you, Perry. You were the best, most beautiful, most gentle, caring, endearing dog in my life.
I will forever think of and remember you.
You will always be with me.
I'm so sorry Perry.
I hope you forgive me.
FOREVER from your family.
Megan, Breya, Jaxx and JC.
We love and miss you!
Perry RIP 1/7/2011
Pictures of Perry a week before he passed, and just a few months after we received him, walking 18 month old Breya, who is now 6 in Oregon Park.