These six Steven Wright dog quotes give us a glimpse of a sense of humour that is completely off the wall. You won't be able to stop shaking your head in wonder.
I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
I took my dog for a walk, all the way from New York to Florida. I said to him "There, now you're done."
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building, on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
It has been 3 months or 3 years or 3 days... or just 3 minutes ago, when Karen and I lay on the floor in the vet's office, holding Buzz in between us as
Penny was born on May 4th 2008. She departed on April 5th 2019 at 12.20 PM. It hurts so bad. I miss her so much. When I was walking through the house
Good-bye to our beautiful little baby. You chose me as your Mommy and Shannon as your sister on Christmas Eve of 2016, and came to live in your forever