These six Steven Wright dog quotes give us a glimpse of a sense of humour that is completely off the wall. You won't be able to stop shaking your head in wonder.
I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
I took my dog for a walk, all the way from New York to Florida. I said to him "There, now you're done."
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building, on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
We lost Stewie our Pug Monday 03/22 and I still can't eat or sleep. He would've turned 14 in May and I've had him since he was a baby, 10 weeks old. He
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