My Sweet Boy Kayne

by Alyssa
(Indiana)

I wish I had been a better mom, especially at the end of your life. I know you moved in with my dad and I wasn't there a lot. I'm so sorry. I know that I was still your favorite because you couldn't leave me alone every time you saw me. You saved my life in more ways than I thought would ever happen.

When dad texted me it was like my whole world shattered. I can't comprehend you're gone but every time I see the message I break into a billion more pieces all over again. I never got to say goodbye. I didn't see you buried and it tears at me every day.

I love you and I miss you. I just want you here. I want this all to be a lie, and the next time I show up at dad's I want you to be there. I know it's not going to happen, but I can hope. I love you more than I could every describe.

I know you're not sick anymore. I just wish I could've been there to comfort you as you took your last breath. It literally feels like a knife is going into my chest, just thinking about how you could've felt.

I love you so much. There will always be a spot in my heart just for you and only you. My sweet baby boy. ♥️