My Big Beautiful Bear

by Kevin Aubie
(Bathurst,NB, Canada)

She only got cuter

She only got cuter

I am beside myself with grief. Tomorrow morning I have to put my dog Mischief of 8 years down. She is one of my 4 shepherd husky mixes I inherited when my previous pet, their mother, had pups in February 2000. The mom died shortly after birth, hanging in just long enough to nurse her pups. It was cancer.

I was hoping that spaying my girls would prevent them from potentially developing the same cancer, but it looks like it hasn't worked for Mischief.

While I love all my dogs with all my heart, Mischief was extra special to me. She was my in house companion ever since she was a pup and took being spayed pretty hard. So I kept her in the house with me. She was such a good house dog, obedient always, scary smart, so loving and full of life and just a majestically beautiful dog with her big husky style coat and big beautiful fluffy tail.

She was amazing at showing her love for me and helped me through such hard times, like my dad's death, and my girlfriend walking out on me. She was there for me in such a beautiful way. No matter what kind of day I had, she always managed to cheer me up with her excited greetings when I walked in the house. I will miss that so much.

Now she lay on the floor behind me, slowly dying. She took sick in January, the same day all those high school students died in that terrible accident. I spent well over a thousand dollars at my local vet in Bathurst and another thousand at the animal hospital in PEI. They managed to extend her some lesser quality months, which I greatly appreciated. But it looks like cancer again now and the time has come where I believe she is suffering and that just tears me apart. So tomorrow I will take her to the vet and say my goodbyes. Tomorrow will be one of the saddest days of my life.

It's like my own child is dying, it hurts that much. I know a part of me will die with her.

I LOVE you so much Mischief, thanks for all the love and memories. I will cherish your memory until the day I die.

Mischief Aubie - February 27, 2000 - May 13, 2008
Such a short life for such a beautiful creature.

LOVE Kevin, Zack, Boomer and Patches

Comments for My Big Beautiful Bear

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I am so touched...
by: Maneera

Dear Kevin,
I was so touched to read about made me cry.

Even I always thought that spaying your dog would somehow extend their life...after reading your story I'm not so's quite scary coz soon I plan to spay my dog, Xena. I don't know how she will take it either...

Your grief must be beyond measure but I am sure it'll reduce with time. Mischief is always with you, in spirit, wagging her beautiful tail for you still...

i know how you feel...
by: debbie schooley

Thankyou for your kind words on the loss of my sweet angel (Muffin)...I came across this site by accident and I can't tell you how much it has helped to write my story and read other stories of lost loves. It does my heart good to know that so many other people have the compassion and ability to see the love that an animal can bring to their lives. I hope that in time your pain will lessen and you won't be afraid to love another sweet creature again.

So sorry
by: Jane

I'm so sorry. I cried as I read what you wrote about your beautiful dog Mischief.

We recently lost our dog Sampson to cancer. Your story sounds a bit like ours. He was with me when my 1st husband walked out on me and was loyal to me till the day he died.

We had several visits to the emergency animal hospital only to be told that he is very sick and cancer was throughout his body. He wasn't eating and was very sick. We made the decision to euthanize him. It was the hardest day of our lives. We cried all morning and my husband ended up taking him in. It gets a bit easier with time (he died March 18th) but the sadness and grief lingers on.

I truly believe we will see our furry children again.

Sorry for your loss
by: Tricia

Hi Kevin,

Thank you for your kind words about Sammy. I'm sorry to hear about you loss as well. Such little time with such wonderful friends. It's such a shame that these things happen. At least we can find solace in the fact that for the little time they were with us, they had good, good lives. Hope you are doing well.



Kevin, so very sorry to hear about your loss. Pets certainly are a part of your family and losing them can be so difficult. The memorial was very nice to read all about Mischief.


So Sorry...
by: Cheryl

Dear Kevin,

Your dog was another Heart-Dog, as one of my friends said when referring to my dog - they touch your heart and change you. Thank you for your comments about Smokey, it does feel better when you're not alone in your grief, knowing that others empathize with your pain. One of my friends at work started crying when I told her about Smokey, and it touched me deeply. I look forward to the day when I can look back at her life and just smile, thinking about what a good companion she was. It'll just take a little time.


It's Over
by: Kevin Aubie

I took Mischief in on the 13th to have her suffering ended. Mischief was always easy to bring to the vet without hesitation, she trusted me and the vet totally. But when I brought her on the 13th, she wouldn't even get out of the jeep. She knew this was no ordinary visit, obviously picking up on my emotions.

The vet agreed to come out to the vehicle to do it but seeing her frightened like that was so sad, we chickened out and left. I let her out to go at 3 or 4 am that night and she collapsed a few times from her weakness.

Seeing her like that was absolute torture. She was always strong as a bear, and I knew I had to go through with it, no matter how much it hurt me. So we went back yesterday and went through with it. Mischief died peacefully at 11am, May 14th, 2008.

My heart is shattered. My baby is gone.

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