My Beloved Pepper

It's only been a couple of hours since I lost you. One of my worst dreams became a reality. I dreaded the thought that this day would come. Even just the thoughts made me cry and ached my heart. I don't know how to deal with the pain I feel inside.

Monina knocked on my door but I was taking a nap. She said something so lightly that I didn't even hear. I didn't think much of it since she didn't knock again. I didn't know that she knocked because she was on her way to take you to the hospital. I regret that so much, Pepper. I really wish I could turn back time and be there with you through your very last breath. I would have hugged you so tightly and let you know how much I loved you.

I will miss your morning greetings. How you'd wag your tail whenever you saw us come through those doors. I will miss you always being right there next to me, waiting for me to drop food on the floor so you could eat it. That is why we called you our "Roomba" vacuum.

I will miss your playfulness, and your clumsiness. You always knew what I was feeling or was going through. You and Nala were the reasons I got through my breakup. You guys were there, staring at me, licking my tears away, then cuddling up next to me, letting me know that I still have you and Nala and that everything will be fine.

I can't stop crying because this pain hurts so much. I will now have to face the fact that you're no longer with us. I will have to step outside, knowing you will no longer be there, greeting me every morning when I wake up, or when I get in the house. I will have to deal with the fact that I have to come home and you won't be there.

You're no longer in pain, Pepper. That's the only thing I can tell myself to make me feel a little better. But to tell you honestly, it's not taking or easing this pain.

I love you so much, Pepper. You are the sweetest, most loving dog anyone could ever have. You were part of our family and I can't thank you enough for all the love you've given us these past 7 years.

I will never forget you, Pepper. I will keep the memories I have of you forever in my heart...

RIP babygirl. I love you and miss you with all my heart!

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Return to 2011 October-December

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