My Baby, Nala Jan 1997-Aug 7th 2012
It was just yesterday when I made that decision to let you go. We spent 15 wonderful years together, from hugs to tugging on socks and playing in the water. When all the kids were gone it was you and I to face the world. You always had a big smile, literally. And a wagging tail and unending love to give me.
I know that we are here to take care of our pets and watch over them when they need to eat, go for a walk, need a hug or just a pat on the head. But what happens when you have to make that devastating decision to let them be at rest?
My life without you now is such a hard one. The tears roll down my face and I taste each and every one with salt and such a sting to my heart. This morning I woke up and went downstairs, only to see your empty bed.
It was so painful for the last month or so to have to tug on your collar and help you down the steps and to the yard. You still had some spark and play, but for the last few weeks that spark was gone and I could see just fear and anxiety in your eyes.
I loved you so much that the ride to the vet was such a long drive for me. I realized it was the first time that I was going to leave and not have you come back home with me. As you sat there on the floor with your back legs giving out and panting, looking at me, I just knew that I could not help you no matter what I did. The goodbye was just so painful and still stabs at my heart and soul.
I will miss you, my best friend and love. You gave me the best 15 years of your life and I did my best to love and care for you. I know you are in a better place now, and like I told you .. I will see you again some day my sweet, sweet Nala.
It says that this writing hopefully will ease the pain but I'm not sure when it will ease up. My stomach is in knots and my thoughts are such a mess.
I know it was the best to do for you and I know that I made the right decision and stopped the pain and fear for you. You were not my dog, not the dog that I used to know. However, looking into your eyes, you were still my Nala.
I have asked god to keep you safe and wrap his arms around you. I know that you are running around now and have no pain. I miss you, Nala. I will always, always have a place in my heart with you.
You will be missed.