My Baby Jake...My Savior & My Rock
Hi baby boy...I miss you so much already! You've only been gone 2 days and I feel like I'm dying. I don't know how to function without you. You have been by my side for 12 years...since I was just a little girl. You helped me through my parents' divorce, through all the moving and fighting and sadness.
You were always just happy to be where I was. You helped me through the dramas of being a teenager and licked my wounds every time my heart got broken. Any time I felt sad, you knew it and you were right there to cheer me up.
There were even a few times that you saved my life... being the one looking at me with those big, beautiful, soul-wrenching eyes as I held the razor to my wrist. I owe much of my strength and most of my joy from the past 12 years to you. Then, life moved on and you didn't.
I got married and moved away, and you stayed. Sure, I would go visit you when I was busy doing something unimportant, and every time you would bark and wag and love on me even if you should've been mad at me.
Then your body began to weaken. You became my old man instead of my little baby. You tried so hard to work up that same old enthusiasm for me when I would come by, and Baby, I didn't deserve it. I should've been there, I should've made time to see you, to play with you and hold you like I used to.
I'm so sorry Jakey. I left you behind and I'm sorry! I never meant to leave you behind. I just had so many other things going on that I thought were so important...but they're not. You were important and I let you down. Even after all of that, you still loved me more than anything. You still wagged your tail on your last day and tried to lay in my lap, even though it hurt. You still followed me until your last step.
And when you couldn't walk anymore, you let me hold you. You let me hold you, love on you, talk to you and cry to you. You let me hold your head as you took your last breaths. You let me stroke your face and tell you it's ok to let go. You let me witness your final moment, just me and you.
You showed me more love and understanding than I will ever deserve. Thank you for being the best part of me. I love you now, I'll love you always and miss you every second of every day until we meet again.
RIP Li'l Jake 5-2-98 to 8-31-10 *My Angel Forever*