L.L Bean (Beanie)

My dogs death was almost 3 years ago but I still cry almost every night because of him. His name was L.L Bean but we would call him Beanie for short. He was my best friend.

When we first got him my family sat in a circle and let him walk around and come to us instead of us going to him because he would nip and show his teeth to anyone new. I was the first one he came to and got used to. We had a special bond from the first day.

He came with clothes and I was the only one in the family to be able to put them on him. He wouldn’t let anyone else do it. He would sleep with me and help me when I was sad or angry. It's hard to be sad and not have him come comfort me.

We knew something was wrong when we got a call from our friends who were watching him while my family was on vacation. They said he wasn't eating and was always laying down.

We went home early and tried to see if he would eat better if we were there but it didn't change that much. I would get him to eat a little out of my hand but after the second week nothing would help him eat so we took him to the vet.

It turned out he had a stomach tumor and that he was in a lot of pain. My parents decided that we would put him down as soon as possible.

The night before we took him, my mom asked me if I really wanted him to sleep with me that night because he could be dead in the morning. I decided I didn't want to wake up to him dead in my bed so for the first time he slept in his kennel.

He was put down that morning during school. I've cried ever since. I know he's in a better place now but it's still really hard. I wish I could tell him that I love him one last time.