by Ben S
I lost my dog Hiedi two months ago. It still hasn't got easier, as everyone told me it would.
She was the most amazing dog. We grew up together and she was a sister, a best friend and so much more to me.
She was 16 years old, and her back legs wouldn't work anymore. During the last weeks of her life, she couldn't walk. I was currently doing an 8 week course.
I live 15 minutes out of town, and during the course we would get 3 breaks. In each of these I would race home, walk her outside while supporting her back legs and take her to the toilet on the lawn. I would light the fire in the last break so she was not cold.
As she got older she became less of the family's dog and more mine as I took over responsibility of her care and needs. I did not mind caring for her. In fact, I enjoyed it but the worst thing was I became fully dedicated to her, spending about 7 to 8 hours a day with her plus spending 7 hours a day at the course.
Going from that to never seeing her again was and still is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I made a recording of her sleeping and I still can not sleep without this playing, or medication.
I kiss her photo every day and have weekly breakdowns and look at pictures of her while crying at her grave, wishing for one more moment with the most gentle, placid girl ever. I can not look at black labs without becoming sad.
I beleve she is the reason I am still alive today as I was extremely depressed while going through the early years of high school because of bullying that was consistent every day for two years. I wanted to kill myself and she was the only one I could talk to and trust.
Every time I looked at her, she made me feel like everything will be ok. Any time I had a bad day, I knew she would be there to cheer me up.
So Hiedi girl, I would just like to say I miss you so much with all my heart! And I will love you forever and ever.
25-12-1996 to 19-6-2012 ❤
-Rest In Peace Hiedi-