Digger, My Sweet Boy
(Carmel Valley, CA, USA)
Digger came into our lives as a rambunctious pup, 11 years ago. He was the runt of the litter - and feisty as could be.
My husband slept on the floor next to him his first couple of nights in our new home, to comfort him. He was a "daddy's boy." Together they would go for rides in the truck to get coffee, and the girls at the coffee house kept treats for him.
As he got older, and a little less rambunctious, he also developed some illnesses. About two years ago his illnesses sort of overtook his life, and I found myself to be the one to care for him in his old age. At this point, he became a real "mama's boy."
Even as I sit here entering this, I am so aware that he's not at my feet. For the past year we've been inseparable, from him tolerating some uncomfortable medical treatments, to having a good day and being able to go to the beach with me, to having a bad night, and me getting up at midnight or 1 am to help him.
At the end, medications and treatments were failing. The "last resort" drug was taking a toll on his liver, and the quality of his life was in real decline. I had to make the hardest decision of my life, and let him go. I did it for my Sweet Boy, one last act of caring and love, to a friend who never let me down.
I cannot imagine life without you, my Sweet Boy. I don't know when the tears will ever stop. I miss your gentle presence more than words can say. You are in my heart forever.
Goodbye, my Sweet Boy. Goodbye.