Change of Plans - Lucky
Well Lucky, if things would have gone as planned, we would be sitting at Rose City Veterinary Hospital saying our goodbyes right now.
I want to thank you for making it easier on me by heading out early.
The last three days have been horrific, but I would have been sad anyways and would have had to start this grieving process now.
I want you to know that I noticed you making our last day together a wonderful one. You ran and you played like you haven't done in years. You sat in my lap as we drove around in the sunshine with your head hanging out of the window like you had so many times before.
I want you to know that I noticed that you sat still so that I could take pictures of you, which you've NEVER done in the 15 years we've been together.
I want you to know that I noticed your reactions to my asking if I was doing the right thing when you started losing your balance...and your legs were collapsing beneath you...to tell me, "Yes daddy, you're doing the right thing."
I want you to know that I noticed that as soon as I mentioned that waiting until Friday was going to be so hard for me that you quickly started to decline...to tell me, "Daddy, I won't make you wait...we can go now...I am ready."
I want you to know that I noticed how calm you were in my lap on the drive to the hospital as we watched the sun go down.
I want you to know that I noticed how calm you were in the private room as I gently kissed your head as we said our good-byes.
I want you to know that I noticed how peacefully you left your little body and went off to wherever we go.
I want you to know that I noticed that you didn't pee or poop on me, but left me plenty of hair all over my shirt, which I am hanging onto for the moment.
I want you to know that I noticed, as the nurse was taking your little body away, that your eyes were open and appeared their normal color like when you were younger...and that your tongue was sticking out at me...to tell me, "Daddy, don't cry...I'll be waiting for you when it's your turn."
I love you and I miss you terribly and if it's the way things work, I so look forward to seeing you again.