Buffy- A Heart Too Big for This World

by Jessica D.
(California)

My big fluffball of love - I can't imagine how I could have grown up and spent the second half of my life without you.

You taught me more about unconditional love than any human ever could. I will NEVER forget you. I only wish I had spent more time making you as happy as you made me.

I remember spending 2 whole years of my childhood convincing my mom to let me have a dog, and the family discussion over what kind of dog to get, that ultimately led me to you...my beautiful, loving golden retriever.

I remember visiting you with your brothers and sisters, having no idea how I would choose since you all looked like little angels. I called out "Buffy" because I knew I wanted to name my dog after my hero. You were the only one who ran up to me and plopped your little body on my lap. You knew your name, and you knew we were meant to share the rest of your life together.

I remember the first night you cried out because you were scared, like all puppies are in a new home. I knew I was supposed to let you cry through the night, but because I was a sensitive 12 year old girl I couldn't bear it and stayed with you the whole night. From that night on we slept near or next to each other every night I was at home.

When I was 16, I went through my first break up. As devastating as it was, the best comfort I ever had during that time was when you put your head on my lap and fell asleep. Every time I was truly upset you always laid next to me while I hugged you and cried.

Your best moments were at the dog beach, the only time you would actually "retrieve" sticks and tennis balls. I could throw them all day and it would never tire you out. I've never seen a bigger smile on anyone than you had on those days. I only wish I could have taken you one more time before you went blind.

When you did go blind, you didn't let it stop you from living. I was so afraid that you wouldn't live much longer, but you lasted over a year with no sight. You figured out how to maneuver your way around the house perfectly!

Your body started to age as well, but that didn't stop you from getting to where you needed to go. I tried to help you up the stairs because you needed to sleep by me, but you always were content to do it yourself. When you couldn't jump onto my bed anymore, you put your paw up and I would help lift you.

During your last days, you struggled to breathe. I took you to the vet because I could feel your fear and pain, even though you walked around with a wagging tail. The day we put you down was the worst day of my life, and my family's. My mom, dad, sister, and I came together for your last moments, like a family should.

I felt, and still feel, so incomplete without you. You were my best friend in the entire world. No friend will ever love me as much as you did. All I can do now is try to practice what you preached: love, love, love- in honor of your memory.

I never realized how much it hurts to lose a pet, but now that I have, it also made me realize what true, unconditional love really means, and I am so happy to know that I am capable of that kind of love. Thank you Bufferton for teaching me this. I will always love you and carry your memory in my heart.

Rest in peace my little angel.
Buffy: June 19, 1998 - August 21, 2010.

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