by Kelly Cook
I love you, Buddy.❤️ I miss you so much. I cry every time I'm alone and I think of you. I hope you know that. You did so much for me. I had no idea.
I'm still heartbroken over 2 years on. When will I stop hurting so much? Why can't I have you back? Just for a day? I'd never let you go from my arms, Buds. It feels like I've lost a kid almost. But I can't show it because you're a dog.
Were you hurting before you died? Did I do the right thing? Are you ok? I feel guilt for putting you down, Buds. Was I wrong? Could tablets have sorted you out? Please show me you don't hate me - or at least that you are alright wherever you are.
You've got to be somewhere. I hope you are near me. I hope you enjoyed being my companion. I have so many doubts now and wish I had showed you more love. But I did show you love, didn't I, Buds? The love you understand. I remember some times I just held you and sobbed into you. You took it all in, licking my tears off my face and being so attentive and loving. It was like you knew what I was telling you and you were trying to tell me... 😢
You are such a good dog, Buds, and you know I told you that over and over again. I just didn't realise how good you really were. The kids... OMG, you would love Sophie, she would completely adore you. Lauren weeps for you still now. She's 11. Kacey was 4 when you left us so she doesn't cry but she mentions you occasionally and the silly things you did and Lauren gets emotional (I do too but you know - gotta hide it from them!).
I'm so afraid that I'll have to go through this horrible heartache in 9-10 years with Roxy. What makes it worse is that I still won't be over you. And put that together with Bruce. It's unbearable!
If I could change one thing out of all that is wrong, I would bring you back as a puppy to have you all over again and again - but minus the destructive staffy chewing up and vandalising ways!!! Ha!
Buds, I love you.😘😘😘😘 I hope your RIP, mate. Until we meet again. Your mummy........🙏🏻🐾❤️
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