These six Steven Wright dog quotes give us a glimpse of a sense of humour that is completely off the wall. You won't be able to stop shaking your head in wonder.
I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
I took my dog for a walk, all the way from New York to Florida. I said to him "There, now you're done."
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building, on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
