My Bandaid

Bandaid

Bandaid

The last night of your life was the hardest of mine. It was a slow, but natural death. I prayed all night for God to take you, to end your pain, to give you what I couldn't. I begged you to forgive me for not giving you peace days before.

I wanted so badly for you to live..Maybe it was the last lesson you were to teach me. I'm sure I'll never be the same. It has taken me two months to write this because I'm sure no words will be good enough to explain to the world what you meant to me.

You were my protection, unconditional love and loyalty. I slept at night, knowing you were watching over me. When I needed someone to love me unconditionally, you did. When life was just more than I could handle, you licked my face and made me handle it.

You always had my back. I am who I am today because you came into my life.

As I write this and try to come up with the right words, one song keeps playing in my head and has for the last two months, even the night you were dying. The Dance, by Garth Brooks. And the line, I could have missed the pain, but I would've had to miss the dance.

Bandaid, I would've spent that night a hundred times over (as hard as it was) to have the dance we shared. What an awesome dance we shared. :) I only hope you feel the same way.

That night could not have been easy for you. I pray you will forgive me for it. I tried to be with you to the end, but at times I couldn't bare to watch nature take you. I would have gladly taken your pain, even as painful as that night was, and as much as my mind dwells on it.

I remember the good nights and the good times, and my arms around your furry neck and your sweet kisses. For that, I have to thank you for the dance.. the night you died (the last hour), you and God gave me a gift (even though I hated God many times that night).

I am grateful for that last gift. It gives me hope we will meet again. My sweet Bandaid, I can't wait to see you.

RIP my sweet, sweet Bandaid. September 2000-November 25, 2011. I love you always.

Comments for My Bandaid

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I Feel Your Pain
by: Muddie

My soul mate, Dusty Rose, died 2 days ago, and I wanted to get her a stone for her final resting place. In the process, I saw your Memorial story, and found it to be exactly how I feel right now. It has inspired me to feel free to grieve for Dusty as strongly as I feel fit. She was not "only a Dog," but my Guardian Angel. I could communicate with her almost to the point of telepathy. We were that close!

Right now, I am fighting the urge to allow depression to consume me, so I can turn off the pain. The feeling of dread is present all day, from the minute I wake up. Everything else is just unimportant right now. I can't be strong for my husband or my children right now.

Dusty was sick for around 9 months, and I asked God to please let her go at home. She always had a strong fear of going to the Vet, and I swore she would never die there, if I could help it. I fell asleep that night to the sound of Dusty walking around in the adjoining bathroom. I thought about going in there to check on her, but somehow fell asleep instead. By morning, she was passed away.

I can't even walk in there now, without picturing her lying there in my mind.

I think it happened just the way I wished for her and for me. Dusty was spared any suffering and so was I. That gives me something to hang on to.

So, yes, I feel your pain, and my heart goes out to you and Bandaid. God bless all their little hearts.

You Are Not Alone
by: Auria

I cannot even write to you without crying. It is as if I had written what you wrote and felt about Bandaid. I am so sad for you and for myself.

I lost my faithful companion friend on December 28, 2011. I feel so sad and lost without him, I do not know if I will ever feel the same. He waited for me by the door every day if I left the house and followed me everywhere I went.

I feel like I lost my husband, that is how strong my feelings were for him. I wanted to extend his life to the very end, even force-feeding him. I did not want to let go.

Please email me if you would like to talk. alebellot@cfl.rr.com

You Are Not Alone
by: Bob

You are not alone. Your feelings are shared by many. I can't answer how long the throat-tightening, tear-causing pain will last---but you are not alone...

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