Below are eight Dave Barry dog quotes. A columnist for the Miami Herald newspaper, Barry is a humorist and the author of more than 25 books, including Dave Barry's Money Secrets and Peter and the Starcatchers. He is a Pulitzer Prize winner and was the subject of the TV sitcom Dave's World.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere.
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued into the next yard.
Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors.
Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her? What is it, girl?" as if this had never happened before, instead of every week.
What with all the time these people spent pinned under the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the applications for.
Sometimes you panic and find yourself emitting remarks so profoundly inane that you would be embarrassed to say them to your dog. Your dog would look at you and think to itself, "I may lick myself in public, but I'd never say anything as stupid as that."
The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Feb 05, 16 01:37 PM
Today is the day. We had to make the heartbreaking and difficult but kind decision to euthanize our old girl Dash. She goes on her last car ride this afternoon.
Feb 01, 16 12:36 PM
Oh I knew I wanted you from the very moment I saw you. You were already loved by me before I signed the papers at the Humane Society. You stayed with
Jan 25, 16 02:41 PM
I Only Wanted You (Sizzler) A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you you never would have died. In life