Bella our Beauty Queen

by Lisa Alexander
(Rockford, IL)

Bella was the life of our house. Always there by our side. When we ate popcorn or pizza, she would be there to make sure she got some. Her energy filled our home and kept us all in a state of utter love for her. Her eyes were filled with love and her intelligence was unmeasurable. Bella would learn a new trick in just two tries.

She was a border collie/German shepherd. Everyone who met her said what a gorgeous dog she was.

Saturday, March 28, 2009 started like any other day. She played outside, ate normal, appeared normal. She was with us all day. We left for one hour When we returned she was in her bed as if she were sleeping. When i walked up to her she was dead.

She was only 2 1/2 years old. Why did she leave us? She was the love of our life. I feel as though I have lost my baby. I don't want to live anymore. I want to find her and the only place I know to look is heaven. So I am asking God to take me there so that I can be with her.

Comments for Bella our Beauty Queen

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So sorry about Rusty
by: Lisa

Ken,
Yes, I am still reading my posts. Please know that I am praying for you and your wife at this time. I know that the loss of a pet is just as hard if not harder then losing a human friend. They are so dependent on us, so when they pass away we feel at times maybe we could have done something.

When I lost Bella it was like someone pulled the rug out from me. I felt like I was lost in my grief. I found a book that has really helped me through my grief. It is called "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates".

I have the deepest faith in God that our lovely furry creatures are in Heaven. You see, God doesn't create things temporarily. He created the furry creatures for us to enjoy and love here on earth just as we will enjoy them in Heaven. I will never "get over" Bella. I will however learn to love her in a new dimension and know one day we will ALL be together with them in their home in Heaven.

Just as we welcomed God's furry creatures into our homes, one day they will pay us back by welcoming us into their home in Heaven... they just went before us.

It's okay to mourn and grieve as long as you want. Everyone grieves differently.

Please take care.

Lisa A.

I feel the same, too
by: Ken

I lost my dog Rusty last night after having him in my life for 9 years. My doberman was a rescue who had been wandering along the highway in east Tennessee. I already had and still have another dobie, but am worried about how she will fare in the days and weeks to come.

Rusty was my first male dog and was my closest companion. He injured his neck almost 3 years ago, and compressed a vertebra. This caused some problems with his walk and use of his legs, which we treated first with aspirin, then in the last 6 months with prednisone.

Last night he threw up, according to my wife, and once outside had fallen over on his side and couldn't get up. When she got him into the house, he was fading fast and was gone. I am working in Alaska and she is in Tennessee. I saw most of this on a webcam, and hope Rusty heard me tell him I love him before he was taken by the Lord.

I am glad he died a natural death and didn't have to be euthanized. I had to do that with my other dog Inky about 10 years earlier. Still I am sad, but know in my heart that it was his time to return to God, and one day I will be with him again. Heaven will not be heaven at all if there are no dogs.

If you are still reading posts, I share your grief and hope my story can provide some small measure of comfort.

Sincerely, Ken Fix

Beautiful Bella
by: Cynthia

Bella is beautiful!! I am so sorry about your sudden loss..it just sucks so much. I am constantly fighting back tears to this day. Thank you so much for your comments about Leo.

It's been 2 weeks and it just isn't getting easier. I'll get that book as well. I dream about Leo every night. Watching my dad, a grown man, grieve so much just adds to the pain. Why are these precious, young, seemingly healthy animals taken from us?? We are having a party for Leo at the dock soon.

We will see them again in heaven and every time we dream. My best wishes to you.

Bella
by: Lisa

I wanted to thank you for your comments on Jazz and to offer my condolences on your loss of Bella-she really was a beautiful girl!

It's been nearly two weeks since I put Jazz to sleep. I have good days and bad. This morning was bad. I have been contemplating getting a new dog from the shelter, but have decided to hold off for now. I don't just miss having a dog in the house, I miss MY dog. I'm afraid if I commit to a new dog right now it would be too soon and that wouldn't be fair to the new pet.

Time does help to heal, as corny as that sounds. The first four days I stayed in bed and cried. My husband had to do everything for the kids because I was non-functioning. Now I have my crying jags. Her urn is in the living room with some pictures and I kiss her picture goodnight every night before going to bed. As stupid as that sounds, it helps me. I am also getting her portrait tattooed on me next Tuesday; I have many tats and always said I would have Jazz added when she passed away.

I totally understand the emptiness you are feeling. It's completely normal. To feel grief is to know that you loved.

-Lisa

Laynie
by: Lisa Alexander

Thank you for your message. I am so sorry about Laynie. Yes, it is still very raw inside of me. I too want to be with my Bella. I do know she died suddenly with no pain and peacefully. I am sure it was something with her heart or an aneurysm. We were only gone for one hour and before we left she was fine.

But she was way too young, just 2 1/2. We were looking forward to the spring so we could walk her every day. I am numb and sick to my stomach. As I type this, I look over at the spot she would be laying looking out into our backyard.

I just don't know how I am going to get through this. Grief is something I am not familiar with. Anyone that can offer some direction to me as to how I can get out of bed in the morning and go to work I am all ears.

Lisa

For Lisa
by: Anonymous

I started to cry when I read about Bella. I sometimes come here to visit my beloved Laynie and to read others posts. I lost my Laynie from basically a heart attack. So sudden... I know how you feel. I felt that I wanted to be with her, to go to her. Losing her was like someone ripping my heart out.

I have two of her sisters but each one of my girls holds a very special place in my heart because each has her own special personality. It's been 4 long months for me since Laynie passed on. It does get better. It does.. but each of us mourns differently.. some shorter, some longer.

Please know that my heart goes out to you. All of us here know how you feel. My warmest thoughts are with you now....

To Lisa-Owner of Queen Bella
by: Pier

Dear Lisa,

I am so sorry for your loss of Bella. She looks absolutely precious in her picture. I am especially sad that you never even knew that she was ill. The unexpected loss of a pet by accident or some other sudden cause is so much to bear.

I too lost my Lab Mix named Margo.It was during Xmas of last year. I was and still am beyond heartbreak, though I have other pets whom I love just as much. It is this site that helps me to refocus and maybe share a word of empathy to others. I am a better person to have owned her, that is for sure.

I think that what makes some pet losses so intense and meaningful, is because of the relationship between the owner and the pet.

I read the memorials, and from every one read, there are bits and pieces of wonderful personalities and character of each pet, like your Bella.

Thank you for sharing.

Pier

My Bella
by: Lisa

Tom,

Thank you for your words. I am still so very numb, hurt, angry and I want to blame, someone for this unfortunate death of Bella. She was much too young and appeared to be healthy. She was athletic and smart so it makes no sense to me that God allowed her to die and that he not take an animal that is being abused and suffering. I am grieving and I cannot function. Not very many people understand this.

Thank you!
Lisa

about Bella
by: Tom

Lisa,

I came online today to read about my Ned, and I saw your memorial. I know how you feel. Ned has been gone 1 week today and it feels like my heart has been ripped out.

Remember our little friends are always with us. Bella will come to you in your dreams. She is in the stars when you look up at night and you will hear her bark in the wind. Think of her as being in the next room and you just can't see her. All these things were told to me by friends who have also lost their little ones.

I am sorry Bella left too soon. My Ned left too soon also and it was almost 10 years. Take care. Your grief will take time to heal but you will heal. I am finding that out.

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